95 Inspirational Funny Life Quotes That Are Sarcastic

Inspiration is literally the desire to do things that are important in life. It’s the difference between waking up before dawn to pound the pavement and lazing around the house all day. It’s the crucial element in setting and achieving goals and research shows you can influence your own levels of motivation and self-control.

Here are some Inspirational Funny Life Quotes.

  1. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” –Lily Tomlin
  2. “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” – Will Rogers
  3. “When you’re riding, only the race in which you’re riding is important.” – Bill Shoemaker
  4. “To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.” – Hippocrates
  5. “Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.” –Unknown
  6. “There’s a little truth in all jive and a little jive in all truth.” – Leonard Barnes
  7. “If you fall, I’ll always be there.” – The Floor
  8. “Girls have got balls. They’re just a little higher up, that’s all.” –Joan Jett
  9. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
  10. “Change is not a word but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
  11. “Free your mind and your ass will follow.” – George Clinton
  12. “I’m not confused. I’m just well mixed.” – Robert Frost
  13. “A good time for laughing is when you can.” – Jessamyn West
  14. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” –Steve Martin
  15. “You’re at your best when you don’t know what you’re doing.” – Paul Stanley
  16. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” – Phyllis Diller
  17. “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” – Bob Hope
  18. “If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.” – Hippocrates
  19. “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” –Elbert Hubbard
  20. “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” – Dalai Lama
  21. “To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  22. “An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.” – Will Rogers
  23. “If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher
  24. “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.” –Benjamin Franklin
  25. “The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.” – Malcolm ForbesInspirational Funny Life Quotes
  26. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” – Mark Twain
  27. “When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Gracie Allen
  28. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
  29. “To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” – Baron de Montesquieu
  30. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” – Ellen DeGeneres
  31. “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” – Stephen King
  32. “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – Madeleine L’Engle
  33. “What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficult, and every difficulty has an opportunity.”–  Sidlow Baxter
  34. “The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
  35. “It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.”– Germany Kent
  36. “I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”- Winston Churchill
  37. “The only place where your dreams become impossible is in your own thinking.”– Robert H Schuller
  38. “Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, Call me….I’ll laugh at you.” – Unknown
  39. “Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.” – Unknown
  40. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” – Justin Sewell
  41. “I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.” – Yogi Berra
  42. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
  43. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown
  44. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
  45. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin
  46. “Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
  47. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
  48. “I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.” – George Bernard Shaw
  49. “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.” – Dick Van Dyke “The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.” –  Clement Stone
  50. “I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.” – Will RogersInspirational Funny Life Quote
  51. “What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  52. “When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.” – Walter Lippmann
  53. “In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.” – Harold Geneen
  54. “Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Sherrilyn Kenyon
  55. “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.” – Groucho Marx
  56. “If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” – Regina Brett
  57. “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” – Roger Staubach
  58. “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there.” – Josh Billings
  59. “Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.” – Unknown
  60. “Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.” – Martina Navratilova
  61. “Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” – Danny Kaye
  62. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” —John Wooden
  63. “If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big.” – Tom Hirshfield
  64. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” – Terry Pratchett
  65. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson
  66. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein
  67. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” – Lucille Ball
  68. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”- Unknown
  69. “If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either.” – Leo Burnett
  70. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
  71. “You can’t experience simple joys when you’re living life with your hair on fire.” – Emily Ley
  72. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
  73. “See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” – George Harris
  74. “The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts.” – Fulton J. Sheen
  75. “Cause your facial expression to change – smile.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  76. “Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip.” – Richard Steele
  77. “Today’s opportunities erase yesterday’s failures.” – Gene Brown
  78. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” –Unknown
  79. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
  80. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” – Irish Proverbs
  81. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
  82. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams
  83. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson
  84. “It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!”– Steven Weinberg
  85. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
  86. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”– Steven Wright
  87. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
  88. “You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” – Solomon Schechter
  89. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe
  90. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”– Salvador Dali “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”– Thomas Sowell
  91. “A woman is like a teabag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
  92. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”– George Carlin
  93. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”– Jeffree Star
  94. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin
  95. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”– Billy Wilder


Sim is the founder of The Blessed Human. A budding literary artist who loves to pen down blogs especially on culture, lifestyle, and life.

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